Semantics of forgiveness and Oprah

The semantics of forgiveness cannot afford to be flawed

The following is a quote by Oprah Winfrey that I find to be noteworthy because it aims to home in on the intention of one who seeks to apply forgiveness:

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different, it’s accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.”

—Oprah Winfrey

But the statement gave me pause because of the use of the modal verb phrase (or simply modal expression ^[1]The following Wikipedia quoted citation states: “A modal verb is a type of verb that contextually indicates a modality such as a likelihood, ability, permission, request, capacity, suggestion, … Continue reading) could have been. So I have broken down the reason why below. But first, let’s establish an understanding of the use of the word hope. The Perfect English Grammar website provides an excellent reference for when and how to use it. The source states the following:

“We use ‘hope’ to talk about things in the present or future that we think have a good chance of happening.”

—Perfect English Grammar website

The semantic case for WHY the proposition is flawed, though well-intended

According to TheFreeDictionary.com, could have been is used to say that:

1. “There is a possibility of something being true in the past, although it was not in fact true. (One would not reasonably maintain hope about something that was not true.)
2. “There is a possibility that something was true in the past.” (One would not reasonably hope for a possibility that’s in the past.)

The semantic analysis for HOW to improve the proposition

Could be is used TheFreeDictionary.com “to say that there is a possibility that something is or will be true.”

• I give up the hope that the past could be any different. (But could the past really be different to hope for it in the first place?)

A BETTER way to improve the proposition

• I give up the wish that the past would be different.

SIMILARLY,

• I wish that it would stop raining.

The “Perfect English Grammar” website has an excellent reference for using the word wish. It states the following about how wish + (that) + would is used:

“It’s not usually used about [our selves], or about something which nobody can change[,] though, exceptionally, we do use it about the weather.”

Perfect English Grammar website

The BEST way to improve the proposition

• I wish that the past had been different.

THEREFORE,

• I give up the wish that the past had been any different.

So the original statement would be better and correctly expressed as follows:

Forgiveness is giving up the [wish] that the past [had been] any different. [I]t’s accepting the past for what it was and using this moment and this time to help [you] move forward.

My revision to the original quote

CONCLUSION

Let’s not forget the power of forgiveness: it’s about you giving up the horrible construct of regret. Entertaining hope when there is an extraordinary unlikelihood of the thing hoped for coming to be is the epitome of regret. Indeed, the past could never be different than what it was, unless we are referring to differing recollections of it, which is a whole other ball game. And in that game, no amount or degree of semantics can help you manoeuvre the inherent lack of rules that would be involved in how we see or process our own subjective experiences.